To be honest, this list was rather hard to make, because even these titles have their own small charm. Well, the former titles do, the latter titles are rather smelly as games go. One game you may see missing is Dai Katana for the 64, but that game review is going for the PC port, as it is the original and I've never played it for the console. Still, there were enough titles to give this list that accent of terribleness and guilty pleasures. That's right, some of these come with a somewhat ironic recommendation. They still have that old N64 nostalgic charm and some of them you more than likely played in your childhood. It's a real statement for the system that it was so difficult to gather up this small scrap of games to criticize. Still, there is some rather filthy quality here.
South Park
You know, sometimes, when I shoot turkeys, I'd like to see what I'm shooting at. There's Silent Hill levels of fog, then there's South Park on Nintendo 64. I understand that there were some serious limitations to this game and it did have some charm to it. Multiplayer games and cheat codes were actually pretty fun experiences. It's the single player games that really killed this title because of the pacing and the long, drawn out quality of these levels. There are very few people who can get past the second level because this game is soooo horrifically boring without a party of friends to go four player mode.
Quest 64
The limitations of the system obviously had something to do with how Dragon Warrior came out. It was a marvel of its time because of how it revolutionized the RPG industry in the ways of video games and the series became very successful with all of the leaps and bounds it made afterward. Quest 64 didn't really learn much, other than put it in 3D. This story and characters have very little charm, unless you've got some kind of nostalgia. Sometimes, simple is good, but not this simple.
Mace: The Dark Age
A game that is fun for maybe the first run-through, then you start to realize that the fighting controls and the characters are rather bland. It is entirely too easy, because the enemies last for the blink of an eye. You can spam some overpowered attack and the opponent is powerless to stop you. True to the Mortal Kombat Klone genre, it's a fighting game with Fatalities that they call Executions, and they are all so bland. There may be an entertaining one here and there, but for the most part, you just fall apart the moment they take a swing. As MK Klones go, it's not terrible, and the 3D is nice, but the game is too boring to recommend to anyone.
Carmageddon 64
The racing game where making sense or having a point was a bit of an after thought. This is supposed to be a game where you can wreck your car into other cars and run over zombies. The original game for the PC had you running over people, but this version was censored, so now they're zombies. These racing maps were just mindless mishmashes of buildings and roads. You can't navigate them to save your life. The camera is so terrible, it literally makes the controls worse. They should have crashed this game rather than releasing it!
Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker
Hey, were you looking for a terrible, repetitive beat'em up that had no impact and looked like one of your favorite heroes from the 90's made into a pixelated stick figure? No? Well it happened and this game is a testament to how bad a game can go. This is like if Spider-man for the Dreamcast was drained of vitality and given the most generic combat. It features people from the show, but there is no reason for it to be so boring. The cut scenes are just flash cards and depict a terrible rendition of the Batman Beyond movie. Top it off with long, boring dialogue scenes before another run upon run of smashing up things over and over again. Just give this a pass... a bat pass...
Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub-Zero
There was some potential in creating a Mortal Kombat platformer featuring Sub-Zero. This game used none of it and gave us a tedious run of the MK world through 2.5D. The jumps and the tricks you need to do are beyond impossible to get right twice. You will die so many times and the traps will kill you so many times that you will more than likely find that this game is not worth the time. With a fighting game mentality shoved into a level based platformer, you can't even use your ice powers right away. Why in the hell would they leave out the ice powers, which the character is known for, and hide them behind a level system in a game that has no other roleplaying game elements? It gives me BRAIN FREEZE!
Superman
This character will never get a good game at this rate. We haven't even talked about the PS2/Xbox game that slithered under the radar for so long. Superman for the Nintendo 64 basically claimed the very top of the mountain on this system and if there are worse games for this sytem, maybe it's a good idea I've either forgotten about them or have not played them. Flying through rings, clumsy, HORRIBLE controls, horrific graphics and settings have all made this game infamous for how utterly unplayable it is. It is a force of will to get through the fourth level, let alone beat this horrific game. You make one mistake on these numerous rings, or you miss them by a molecule, and you have already gotten to the point where you can't beat the level and you start over again. There is a reason Titus has become one of the beacons of crappy games throughout the years. They not only made Superman, they made Carmageddon 64 and they also made one of the worst Robocop games as well. They're real heroes of the terrible 64 games industry.
There are other games that fit into he worst N64 games, but they will be brought under consideration later on, if ever. The Nintendo 64 had a rather small library and the number of terrible games on it is actually quite limited. Even some of their worst games, like WCW/NWO titles have some charm in a crude way. It's a very tightly knit console, but if there are any more under performers we get into, you'll be the first to know. Let's get back to the real meaty games. Just remember to take them down with some water.
