Doomverse #28 - Weaponized Mayhem

Doom is known for many things. Many things have already been said about Doom and Quake, especially on Planet Virtua. What really matters for a lot of people are the weapons. The guns, the chainsaw, the Rune Sword, all of these are the focus for a great deal of the fans. Many of them have been used in multiple games and represented in other games. These titles have affected the gaming world as we know it. The Doomverse weapons roster hasn't just stood the test of time, but modern games are still trying to perfect it. Sure, you can say Halo did it better, but everyone's wrong at some point in their lives.

This is a list of the greatest weapons in the Doomverse, beit Quake 3 Arena or Doom Eternal. Some weapons have an improved version in later editions, some of them are featured once and then basically never again. These are the weapons that thrived under the pressure of being compared to another in the Doom Arsenal. Whether they create more destruction or just iconized Doom as a whole, these rose to the top. 

The Dark Age's Bonecrusher

The newest Doom game, at the time of this writing, had no shortage of cool weapons, but this is one that truly stood out. It certainly wasn't the "BFC". The Bonecrusher in both of its other iterations used this idea to a great degree. The thought of a skull being used to drive shrapnel into your enemies is just such a brutal idea and its upgrades made it quite the demon grinder. The Ravager was probably the best iteration out of any of them and I can only hope that it will be in future titles. Part of me doubts it, but one can hope.

Doom 4's Heavy Assault Rifle

The repeating rifle was not a weapon in the original Doom games, mostly because it didn't need one with the chaingun. Doom 2016 brought this about in probably the most boss way possible. It not only starts like a true Doom weapon, but throughout the game, the upgrades build it up to a legendary status that deserves to be on this list. You can upgrade the bullets to explode after impact, and it even eats through cyber mancubi like hot water through ice. 

 Doom 4's Chaingun

Fully upgraded and able to immediately begin spinning, this chaingun will take down any horde of demons and destroy a boss demon's hit bar. This chaingun gets an upgrade where it sprouts three different turrets which all fire at once. It overheats faster, but it also does more damage than it would in normal fire rates. This is enough damage to take down a fresh Cyber Mancubus. The gun itself is a one-machine barrage.

Quake 3 Arena's Lightning Gun

More deadly than the first Quake's lightning gun, this one reaches far and drains the opponent's HP within seconds. One big problem is that it does run out of ammunition fairly quickly. If you're fortunate enough to get a fully loaded lightning, it can mow down any group of fighters. It doesn't chain lightning enemies, that would be a little overpowered, but it doesn't take away from how the gun turned out. 

Quake 3 Arena's Plasma Gun

The gun that inspired Dark Age's plasma gun. Though it can be argued that it's not quite as powerful as the Doom 1 iteration, it is still such a satisfying gun to use when you start to unleash upon a single or multiple targets. It also has the drawback of not being able to fire up close without massive backfire. It is known as "melting your face". So, pick your poison between the two. They're both A Class Doomverse weapons.

Quake 3 Arena's Railgun

If you want one of the better aspects of Quake 3 Arena, you do a railgun fight. These guns are so easy to use, you just pick one up and put someone in your sights. If you want to be real stylish, you shoot someone with no zoom. That one small second to line up your sights can be the second where you get killed, so you need to be fast and this is the way to one-shot an opponent. It will even kill someone with a near miss and does tons of damage when grazing a target. Quake 3 and Quake 4 did it right.

Quake's Nailgun

If you want a more iconic weapon, it's hard to beat Quake's original nailgun. This is where they proudly declared "Nine Inch Nails did our soundtrack" through the NIN symbols on the ammo boxes. The nailgun and super nailgun will get you through many levels of Quake with glorious nail fire. The problem really is that their nail doesn't last, especially with the super nailgun's fire rate. 

Doom Eternal's Crucible

One of the biggest hype pieces from Doom 2016. This sword was introduced at the very end, and we finally get our own in Doom Eternal. It is an instant-kill weapon with very limited ammo, unless you're fighting the Icon of Sin. This sword will immediately slice huge demons in half, even the mini-bosses. Given this powerful weapon near the end of Doom Eternal was a gigantic help when the going got tough. It was as dependable as the BFG when you needed a quick death between a rock and a hard place.

Doom Eternal's Unmaykr

Introduced in Doom 64 and perfected in Eternal, The Unmaker, or "Unmakyr" in this case, is a weapon on par with the Big Fucking Gun. One good pull will destroy the largest demons within a few seconds. It sends multiple laser blasts all at once, which make any demon crumble under its weight, even the bosses. The feeling of unleashing this enormous barrage all at once is very satisfying. You don't need to upgrade it like you did in 64, it's ridiculously powerful as soon as you unlock it by doing all of the callenge stages. It takes a while to accomplish, but it is a labor of love for a fantastic weapon in your arsenal. 

Doom 4's Chainsaw

What sets this apart from the other chainsaws, is that it is an instant kill weapon that is not wholly required to be used. Yes, it is still made to revamp your ammunition by spawning it from your victim, but it is not a need like it is in Doom Eternal. The death animations you get from this have to be among the greatest glory kills in the entire game. The blood and severed body parts are worth its use alone, you never need to make it required.

Doom 4's Gauss Cannon

A standout weapon for many, many reasons. It's Doom 2016's answer to the railgun. Somehow, though, they turned it into one of the most powerful weapons outside of the normal fair. Two words: "Siege Mode". This mode will turn this fairly decent blaster cannon into a decimating powerhouse of burning terror! One single shot from Siege Mode has the power to take down Barons of Hell and turn them into piles. It is one of the weapons that reminds you how awesome the power fantasy can get. Turn mancubi and cyber mancubi into piles of organs at your leisure and have a ball. It is even better when you're able to move in this mode.

Rocket Launcher

Doom 1 did this right from the start and they rolled with it in each and every iteration. Rocket jumps, blast back, rocket battles against Cyberdemons, everything about this gun has some sort of iconic affect on its game. Quake cashed in on the rocket jump first and it has since become a staple of First Person Shooters as a result. It may be a bad idea to use it on Lost Souls or Pinkies, for obvious reasons but it's just so wonderful to fire one missile into a group to see body parts begin to fly. Rip and Tear, indeed.

The BFG 9000

They tried to make a BFG 10,000 more than once. One was a strange iteration from Quake 3 Arena, the other was a planet destroying beam in Doom Eternal that blows a hole into Mars. They were nice but nothing will replace the Big Fucking Gun 9000. One pull of the trigger kills entire hordes and does incomparable damage to mini-bosses if it doesn't finish them outright. Doom films have never gotten this weapon right, but it is thankfully handled very well in every other sequel. We're not going to go into the crossbow from The Dark Ages, there's only one super powered laser cannon that we want. We want the one they used to name an alcoholic drink mix. You know, the one that three clips a Cyberdemon. We want that one!

The Super Shotgun

At first glance, in Doom 2, this may just look like a normal double barrel shotgun. Well, not only does it take 2 shells in each shot, but it also has the capacity to kill multiple demons in one pull. There's no blowback, though, and hearing that meaty sound as you fire and reload is hard to top. Doom 4 brought it back in all its wondrous glory and outshined even the Quake iterations as a result. With uranium shells and the ability to double shot, Doom 2016 brought the super shotgun to a newfound glory through some of the most awesome upgrades imaginable. Eternal's super shotgun had a hook for chain jumping and that may have been an interesting novelty, but it ultimately did very little for the super shotty all around. One upclose shot from this gun should be sending demon parts scattering across the screen. If not, you're doing it wrong.

There are a lot more weapons to be considered, but these are a good start. Next time, we'll take a look at the weapons of Wolfenstein, as those are a list all their own. Doom has no shortage of metal that grinds demons into dust, and Quake drives some pretty hard nails into the coffin. They are often duplicated by others, but they will always be judged by the best.

Dragon Ball Sparking Zero (PS5) - The Final Battle Again!

 If there was ever an immortal concept in anime, it is Dragon Ball. Even when this series went on hiatus, a small band of fans called Team Fourstar brought about Dragon Ball Z Abridged. No matter what part of history it is, Dragon Ball has existed since it started and then Dragon Ball Super came about and things got... complicated. Either way you look at it, Dragon Ball has had a long history and the story has been told to exhausting extents. Even before this game, other games have completely followed the story in one way or another. Dragon Ball FighterZ came up with a cool story of its own, which was refreshing, especially with such a good game included with it. Then there was Xenoverse and I played that since the very beginning. I'm pretty sure I still have my Goku statue from Xenoverse 2. The story was different, but ultimately the same. What was great about that was you got to play your own character customized to your liking. They fought along with the main characters of the series and gained their own abilities. 

Here is a bit more return to form, even though you're playing through the same story, it does have other perks. The combat is a little simple, but not at all boring. It's fast paced and can gain real traction when you're fighting while fully powered up. In the episode mode, you play as multiple characters. Each one of them have fights that were the largest in the series. With Vegeta, you fought enemies like Kuwi, Zarbon, Freeza, but then move onto his large battles in the Android Saga, #19, #18, Imperfect Cell and even Perfect Cell. Each one of them is familiar and well known as his largest battles in the Z Saga. Part of me hates that there isn't more Dragon Ball from the beginning, it is very nice to play some of the older characters. Then there are the newer characters, like Goku Black. He is available very early in the game and this just seems like a waste of a space that could be given to better Dragon Ball characters. His story is boring and a horrific retread of the Future Trunks Saga, which is one of the best ones in Dragon Ball as a whole. I'm sorry, but no, I'm not going to rush to play Dragon Ball Super parts of this game. 

The characters, however, are amazingly vivid and vast throughout the series that you can play as. It is very easy to grind the story for a little bit, collect experience and unlock characters without paying a dime. It's a fake currency that you gain through gameplay. After just a few hours, you can make some very choice purchases for multiple characters, including extra skins! I didn't even check if there was a way to pay real money for this, because it has been rendered wholly useless with this very generous system. Within just the first three hours of gameplay, I was able to purchase most of the characters that I wanted to play. You can customize your own version of the character through skins and extra abilities purchased for Zenni at the shop. So, you can get your favorite character, buff them up, and fight in team battles against real people or computers. 

There is a good deal of stuff to keep you busy for a long time, while also being very beneficial for other modes of the game, constantly adding content. It is refreshing to see such a system and actually did keep me entertained for the whole game. I haven't beaten every storyline quite yet and I've been at it for around 25 hours. Most of that is because it is just a lot of fun to play custom battles and form your own playstyle. It's a game that really makes you want to play it while having the graphics to back it all up. My favorite color is red, and my custom Goku can be Super Saiyan God mode, who has the saiyan red hair. Vegeta is the same way, which is also very exciting to see, because he had skipped it through the first run of Dragon Ball Super. 

From main badguys from the series to main badguys of the movie, this game has you covered, even with the extra ally characters like Tapion or Pikehan. Being able to play as a giant yellow Janemba form is also quite a strange part. Hildegarn is a blast to fight against. Being able to take down giant forms as if they were normal enemies with a lot of reach and power moves is a very satisfying experience. They seem a little easy sometimes, but then there can come a difficulty spike when an enemy constantly performs super moves. So, the impulse is to do the same against them, constantly doing Gogeta's final move he used to kill Janemba or even Vegeta's Final Flash. 

The power up system is simple, thankfully. Sometimes, like in Bodokai 3, you need to press down two buttons and for some reason, that was a bit more cumbersome. You get normal power ups and then ultimate forms take on a secondary power up that unlocks your most powerful move. The ultimate moves are a lot of fun to trip over, especially when it actually works. Goku even unleashes the Spirit Bomb on Freeza randomly in the middle of the fight to finish it off. That was strange, but still quite nostalgic that they actually decided to stick to canon before he turned super saiyan for the first time.

If you're a Dragon Ball fan, this is your game and it is beautiful. Having so many options of play and unlockables is a gratifying experience and it really looks like the put in the leg work both graphically and mechanically. The way that it sticks to the original series and then goes off deeper into the fandom is a lot of fun to relive, especially when it's with your favorite characters. Gohan seems like quite the underused character later on through the series when he grows up, but it is really cool to play with his Super Saiyaman skin! Just seeing him and Videl is another landmark of a highpoint in an otherwise disappointing saga in Dragon Ball. Sorry, I just can't bring myself to like the Buu Saga. Virtua Saiyan Bomb!

The Age of Concord - How Bad Can it Get?

 I was not part of the populace that wasted money on this game, nor was I willing to waste my time in buying it while subsequently getting an obligatory refund for said game. I was one of the vast majority that watched this game come and go like a terrible fart in an elevator. It can hardly be considered a fart in an elevator, it was gone 11 days after its release! This should have been an amazing example of what not to do when creating a game, and yet it seems to be the example that so many developers and publishers have followed ever since. 

There are so many aspects of Concord that led to its extremely short lifespan: Catering to activists and their insecurities, releasing it with a $40 pricetag when its superiors were free to play, spending $400 million dollars and ten years to develop it and coming out on social media to shame their audiences for not wanting it, all of it should have been setting off alarms in Sony's head. This was a failure on such a colossal level, people barely even remember why we hated Atari's E.T. in the first place. This stomped every single competition on the road to the very bottom and it did so with such amazing ease that they never even bothered to rerelease it as free to play. 

No one has come to the conclusion that, perhaps, they should have been listening to the public. You would think that there was a PR department looking through the comments and gamer buzz to see what players were doing at the time. The problem was that this was all developed in the vain of Overwatch because of its amazing popularity and the fact that it made Blizzard all kinds of money. The fact that Blizzard still ruined Overwatch and fired all of its lead developers in the process doesn't even enter into the equation. The fact was that the moment they made the decision to try and remake Overwatch when it was popular meant that they were already behind the times. Gaming culture changes like the wind and waiting ten years to release a game to catch the "current" zeitgeist of entertainment is like trying to grab water on its way out of the faucet. By the time Concord was released, that ship had left the port years prior. 

The greatest games come about when a developer or a team of developers share a vision to bring something to gaming that wasn't there to begin with. Even if it's not an especially unique idea, if the vision is strong enough with the gameplay, there is a very good chance that it can be a huge success. These are games that come from a desire to exceed expectations in both design and aesthetic, making a vision come to fruition and polishing that game to a beautiful sheen. 

So, why is it that there are spiritual successors to Concord already? The game bit the dust and we're already seeing others come out of the woodwork that look eerily similar. Not only are they creating disgustingly unimaginative characters and boring as hell gameplay, but they are also doing the same cardinal sin of going after the gaming public that they need to sign their paychecks. If you do not have gamers playing your game, your game is going to fail. Period. 

Highguard made the same mistakes in spades. Every single aspect of Concord was brought back to the table, including the fact that they had no idea what gamers were asking for. They certainly weren't asking for a 3v3 hero shooter with gargantuan maps that they can't populate properly. Every single character basically plays the same aside from arbitrary abilities that unlock every so often. Beyond that, you get cookie-cutter weapons and ride horses that are astoundingly difficult to shoot from. The characters are unimaginative as ever. They either have modern day haircuts and/or look like they belong to other games, only made worse. 

Whoever is signing these developers' checks should make a clause in their contracts that obligate them to shut the hell up on social media! These people look so pathetic when they go on the internet and just whine and cry about how they wasted half a decade or more making this game. They will swear that the game they made was awesome, but then go into how they never got any outside influence of any kind, so they had no idea that no one was asking for it. After the ridiculous fallout of Concord, that should have set off some serious bells that this was all a very bad idea. Even if they were so deep into its development, they should have cut their losses or at least not put so much into it from then on. 

No one forced them to put the game at the end of the Game Award Show. They thought that including elements of every popular hero shooter was going to win them fans, but it just made it more generic. It made it fodder for memes and gamers coming out and calling it a sequel to Concord. This should have come as no surprise but it caused their development team to go radio silent soon after the Game Award announcement. All of a sudden, all of the echoes in their chamber started to truly doubt their creation. The release started with a promising 100,000 gamers playing it, but that number was brought down to a dismal 1,000 to 2,000 players within weeks. They accused gamers of not giving it a chance but that's all they gave it. The game was apparently so boring that people couldn't even make it past the tutorial which is REQUIRED at the beginning. It's evident that no one on the team had played a game in their lives or someone would have told them that this was a huge mistake. 

If one live service game wasn't bad enough, now they've announced the gameplay and character roster of Horizon Zero Dawn's new game, Hunters Gathering. In this post apocalyptic world, apparently it's fruitful enough for one woman to eat her way to a diabetic amputation. The characters still look amazingly generic and unappealing. Nothing was learned from Concord's cataclysmic failure. Of course gamers aren't going to give this game a chance, nor should they. It already released trailers and every single one of them is just getting disliked at an amazing rate. The publishers can stick their fingers in their ears and go LALALALALALA all they want, but no amount of blaming gamers for their failure is going to make up for the money they are about to lose. This is not making assumptions at this point, this is just common sense and gaming Darwinism at work. 

The boy can only cry wolf so many times before he loses his voice, and gaming companies are about to learn their lesson one game at a time. These games are not free to make and every single dollar may as well be burned for all it matters at this point. Give the money to charity if you want it to actually make a difference in the world. Stop wasting gamers' time. The only good thing coming out of this mess is the hours of content it is giving youtubers to make amazing videos. If that's the gift you want to give to the world, spend another 100 or 200 million dollars for our ironic entertainment. Stop torturing and crunching your developers and at least buy them some water. They're going to need it.

Mortal Kombat Special Forces (MK Legacy) - Metal Arms that Bore

 Believe it or not, there was a time where Mortal Kombat was at a very low point. Before the 3D PS2 era, there was a time when Ed Boon and John Tobias parted ways because the franchise was holding on by a thread. This was brought into clear focus when Annihilation hit a box office crater and Mortal Kombat: Subzero met with overall mixed to unfavorable reviews. They tried to bring this title into the new era of 3D by putting Special Forces on an isometric view and added combos via Jax's metal arm attacks and even gave him guns and explosives. Try to hold your surprise when I tell you: It didn't pan out well. 

This game was included in the Mortal Kombat Legacy Kollection, thankfully, giving me a chance to play through it. I say "thankfully" because it gives me a chance to review it. What I wasn't so grateful for was the game itself and how it played. This game is beyond boring. The levels are whirly and nonlinear, which isn't always a bad thing, in fact it can be a very good thing when you look at Doom. With the implimentation of keys and elevators, Special Forces pads out its runtime by making you explore every room and look for ways to unlock the way to the next section of the level. 

The combat is one of the worst parts about the game. Trying to avoid damage is nearly impossible in several cases, especially when the opponents have guns. The combinations you receive through leveling up are hardly worth the trouble when you have three or four opponents all at once. You get better results from just using the heavy kick attack and causing them to pause from pain. This grows especially tiresome. The hits lack any sort of impact and the blood is not plentiful enough to make it a rewarding experience. 

This was brought about in the very early era of 3D gaming, so the lack of graphics can be excused. The highly mundane backgrounds and uninteresting levels just add to the woes. When you're stuck in a certain part of the level and are forced to look through every single nook and cranny, you start to think about how awesome another MK title is. This is especially true when this came with titles like the arcade original Mortal Kombat and Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3. That menu to turn off the game starts to look very attractive, as it can let you escape this horrid title. 

It's obvious that they were wanting to explore different avenues in the series. Like Subzero's N64/PS1 title, this game wanted to give you a different experience and a vehicle to introduce new characters. This is the introduction of both Tremor and Jarek, before Jarek was in Mortal Kombat 4, which is its own can of worms. Even with some influence on the series, it's obvious that several things went wrong in the development. John Tobias did his best with what he had, trying to bring about technology which was still in the experimental stages with a group that had very little experience in 3D game programming. In their duct tape and bubblegum, they tried to paste together a good game and sadly, the good intentions did not create a banger. 

Sadly, this was the title that caused Tobias to leave the franchise entirely. Boon carried it on and brought about the trainwreck they eventually made the series, but there were several titles that came along the way. Some of those titles included Mortal Kombat 9 and X, so it's hard to say that they weren't working. They were obviously doing what they could to make the franchise a success again. The experimentation may have brought about little gems like Shaolin Monks and Deception, but the road can hardly be considered smooth by any meaning of the word. Jax's character suffered for it, but all can be forgiven. Tobias lost out on a grand old time because of a rough patch and it is to lament. Still, at least he didn't have a hand in making Mortal Kombat 1. Virtua Burn!!!

Virtua Fighter 5 R.E.V.O. - World Face Smash!

 Well, look at that! This isn't the reinvention of a Sega Saturn game exactly, but it's definitely along the same lines! This is a revival of a franchise that we all can get behind and bash someone's teeth out! All of your favorite characters are back, with some others... but the favorites are still here! Jeffry and Pai-chan are still here, and that's all I need to make mince meat out of everyone! 

This game, being more online savvy, is mostly for the internet fighting bunch, and that's fine and dandy. The great news is, you don't need to be online and you don't need to fight other people if you don't want to. It will make you feel like you're fighting other people, but what they're actually doing is just using other people's character design with the different cosmetics on them and making their A.I. fight you like they normally would. Some of these cosmetics are pretty cool, actually, but some of them also don't make sense. Aoi wasn't in the first Virtua Fighter but she still has a retro character skin in the same vain! Weird...

The game modes and game mechanics are all still here. The prim and proper game controls are back in all of their fighting majesty. You still have the ranking matches, where you fight versus the computer en masse, one after the other. The ranking matches and viewing all of the beautiful backgrounds is awesome by itself, but then there's the matches where you need to fight in cages and can't ring out, or fight against wooden rails where you need to really work to smash them out of the ring! 

They kept it simple, as Virtua Fighter does, and kept the game modes from becoming too broad or overwhelming in their scope. They're simple and concise: random matches, ranked matches, online matches, tournament, practice matches. You can create online rooms so you can fight opponents in multiple matches or you can just hop from online match to online match. 

Now, be careful while doing this, because there are plenty of people out there who are just wanting to have wins on their ranking sheet. So, some of them will try to avoid the L by exiting the match in the middle of it. This happened to me. I still haven't even checked to see if I was labeled to win that match or not, but I won 2 matches out of 5 and they bailed before I could win the third. It's a common occurrence but we're just here to play the game. 

Virtua Fighter keeps its reputation as being one of the tightest fighting games on the market. Ever since it debuted the very first 3D fighting game through the first title, the game only improved over and over again as AM2 locked down the most awesome face smasher they could make. Virtua Fighter 2 still remains the king as far as Planet Virtua goes, but any one of them can be considered the best of the lot. They're just that awesome! So, check out the new VF5 and let's hope the success it pulls in will bring us a Virtua Fighter 6! 

Saints Row 2022 (PS5) - The Turd

It's astounding how tone deaf and out of touch some AAA Game Publishers are. When you think of Saints Row, I'm really hoping you think of Saints Row II or Saints Row the Third. Whatever your thoughts on these titles, it's usual, even recommended that these titles be your introduction to the series. Despite their faults, they're not the 2022, and now that is something to be thankful for. When you build your gang up like a bunch of thugs who are loyal but violent, the last thing you want to see is a bunch of wusses take over their gang name. These people take over the gang without the slightest idea of how a gang is run in order to pay their student loans.... because relateable I guess? 

The voice acting, the jokes and the story are all the weakest part of this game. It has its random charms here and there, and we'll cover those, but then you look at these cut scenes and try to find what makes these... "jokes" funny. There's some running gag about nachos, random stupidity from the characters, and there's some guy in the gang who is a whore to men and women and likes waffles. These are the surface level things we find throughout all of these characters. They keep talking one liners and order wimpy things from the bars in order to make it a funny gag that they're a bunch of light weights. What it does is insult the titles that came before it. 

You can't have a good story if you don't like the characters, that's a universal truth. When you want a cool gang character with a hard life but a great sense of morals, then you've got something interesting. When they're a bunch of hipsters who take selfies and post on social media like a bunch of preteens, it's really hard to like them because you run into people like that wherever you go. 

Once you get past the outer layers of the story and go into the... "bad guy"... the plot only gets worse. I'm going to spoil the "twist" for you right now. Some criminal guy wants to take over the Saints because he wants to take the main character's friends for himself. No, not a good gang or an essential set of cold-blooded street thugs, he wants friends to stay with him in some forced sitcom setting. I wish I was joking, but it's true. He betrays the main character, stabbing them, and then tries to take their friends even though he was getting to be friends with them anyway. It does not make any logical sense on any front. 

Then there's the gameplay. It goes without saying that it's worse than the main original series. It may beat Gat out of Hell or it's around the same overall. You go up against "super" enemies that have these tedious shields that last forever and just soak up your bullets. Or they have indestructible time sensitive shields that blatantly waste your patience. The combat is stilted, but it isn't the worst. There's still a little bit of fun to have shooting from cars.

Cars, let's talk about those for a moment. They handle like absolute crap. Turning feels like it's lacking a steering belt or any fluid. The controls on a vehicle are so bad, it's almost jarring to play one of the older titles because once you beat Saints 2022, you've played so long that you need to get used to driving cars that aren't GARBAGE. 

The police are another point of horrific lacking in mechanics. Usually, in a Saints title, the more police you kill, the harder they get and bring in armored vehicles and/or tanks. However, after you kill the police in 2022, then kill anyone making calls, your police stars disappear and no one goes after you anymore. It is so easy to lose infamy from both police and enemy gangsters, it's comical! 

The game mechanics, many of them, are there to waste your time and send you on wild goose chases. Playing through the entire game is a serious chore because these side missions and unlocking new storyline missions requires you play the mini games. You know, the worst part of Saints Row the Third and Saints Row 4? They bring it into this full force and it is just as annoying, if not more. 

As much as I've heard about the Insurance Fraud games, I was pleasantly surprised to see that they must have fixed the glitch, at least for the PS5 port. Many complained that, once starting the minigame, all of the vehicles suddenly disappear off the streets.   This time, there were plenty of cars and it was pretty easy to ragdoll across several at once while having explosions blow you straight into the air. As said before, this game has some charm. There's some pretty interesting vehicle combat that can entertain you for a little while. Since the police are a joke, you can sit there and destroy anyone and everyone with special proximity mines and explosive human beings. Well, you drop a grenade in their trousers and throw them at someone. 

There is not a lot to like about this title. After some ups and downs of an overall solid series, this game is an insult. The characters are unlikeable with absolute cringeworthy dialogue, the missions are dull and the enemies are bullet sponges that waste your time to a malicious extent. The graphics aren't bad and it seems that they fixed many of the glitches for this port, though there were several to be seen. If you stand on a car for too long, sometimes you just glitch inside of it, kicking out the former passenger(s). If you drive over a broken fire hydrant, you will float upward like a weightless feather on the spewing water. Sometimes, when you shoot people, they disappear and quite often in scenes, someone will be talking to you while you're invisible. 

Just skip this title, get a PS4 version of GTA V if you don't have it, or just try another Saints Row main title game. This sandbox game was rushed through production hell thanks to changing the game in the middle of development several times. Was it worth the effort? Absolutely not. Was it decent for a laugh? Yeah, it kind of was, but that does not dignify it for a purchase. The only reason I played it was so I could review it and it only cost me 5 Virtua Bucks. Virtua GIVE ME IT BACK! 

Doom: The Dark Ages - The Doom Knight

Doom has had some very divisive titles in its day. Doom 4, while very well received, had some fans saying it was too easy and repetitive. Doom Eternal, while also amazingly reviewed, had some questionable mechanics added to slight annoyances. Doom 6, however, seeks to fix all of the problems while also giving us what we truly want in a Doom game. Does it succeed? Obviously, that's up to the masses, but I believe it does a lot more good than it does harm. While not every game mechanic is a masterclass, there are some very nice touches. There is a TON to go over, with a small hint of spoilers, so let's strap up our shields and pull the string!!

The shield, since we're on the subject, is one of those mechanics that was surprisingly well implimented. Unlike the chainsaw in Doom Eternal, they don't force you to use it, nor do they force you to obtain fuel for it after constant use. This may make it seem overpowered, but only for what is now referred to as "Fodder" demons. You want to use it, because there are some seriously overpowered shields that these demonic zombies carry. In some cases, you need to shoot the shields in order to make them light up with heat, then the shield basically shreds them apart when you throw it. The shield is also very handy when you come across the green attacks the demons lay on you. With a perfect block on these, you reverse them into the opponent for more damage. There are also constant upgrades that have secondary effects. The mechanics are so well placed, it makes you want to use it, especially when the enemy has chainguns. If you over-use it, though, you need to let your shield recharge, so try your best to balance the action. 

The weapons line-up also sees a lot of changes. Of all the new guns you get, honestly, there's not really what would be called a "dud" among them. The new skull shrapnel guns, the "Ravager" and the "Pulverizer" are basically the same, but with different overall effects. The Pulverizer was the one that won the day for me because the upgrades to it are a bit more useful. Then there are the two plasma guns, which also have very similar rapid fire, but the Accelerator is so obviously the plasma gun from Quake 3: Arena, so it won my affections. Call me old fashioned. 

While it does lack a chaingun, that's basically nixed in favor of the nailgun. We basically perfected chainguns in Doom 4 and 5, so bringing in a nice taste of Quake is more than welcome. The impaler is your sniper rifle while the Shredder (turtle soup) is the super nailgun. It does what the name implies, especially when you upgrade the ammo to not only do more damage, but also detonate on impact of your shield attack. The chain ball gun is an interesting mix of rocket power without the need for distance, but it is also not among my preferred in the arsenal. It's different, but it's also not all that interesting to use. 

As said in the trailer review, I am so glad they removed that awful spike from the super shotgun. They condensed the arsenal so that you don't need to spend all day looking for each gun in your wheel, so they allow you to choose which one comes up when you need to change guns. So, the shotgun takes an immediate backseat while its double barreled big brother blasts through skulls and turns demons into greasy smears. Thank GOD they don't limit your ammo so terribly at the beginning. That whole, "you should use all of the guns instead of choosing favorites" was a horrible idea to begin with. 

When it comes to the BFC (Ballistic Force Crossbow), let's go with the fact that it does next to nothing to replace the BFG in terms of iconography. It's a powerful oneshot weapon, for sure, and is limited to three shots in order to be used sparingly. It is, however, quite forgettable. I even wrote a great deal of this review before I even remembered to comment on it in the weapons section of this article. It's not terrible or useless, but it just doesn't replace what has been widely considered one of the most powerful weapons in gaming. 

In a genuine show of listening to fans, they stopped the ridiculously implimented platforming sections from Doom Eternal and that is like a kiss of an angel in the midst of bursting demon gore. There are still platforms and puzzles to solve, and they can get a little agitating, but it's not at all to the same degree as to slow the pacing down to a crawl. Instead, you need to look for hot metal and green dead bodies with which to throw your shield. It's pretty straight forward, but sometimes they can be really hard to spot. Again, this is only a moderate nitpick. 

One strike against the game is that it can be a little inconsistant with how the mechanics are pulled off. Sometimes, when the zombie shields are hot, you throw the shield and literally nothing happens. Throw it again, and they're mowed down immediately. You might think this is because the metal is now hot, but the shields do not even change the slightest shade. Sometimes, you'll throw your shield at enemies and it will begin to saw into their bodies for a good stunning effect, other times you throw it at them and it merely does damage or doesn't have any effect. This goes for the blocking in general. Sometimes you block a green attack and it does literally nothing, other times it blasts back at the demon full force. Whether this was a glitch or not is up in the air, but it happens enough times to be very noticeable. This is the same for the melee attacks.

The flail, gauntlet and mace are all stellar weapons. Rather than just making his punches so weak they can't take down the lowliest zombie (coughETERNALcough), you have a limited number of times before you need to recharge. At first, I thought I would stick with the flail because it's awesome. Then I picked up the mace and my mind was immediately changed. You can only use the mace once before it needs to spend a while recharging, but it blasts off their armor almost immediately and does ridiculous amounts of damage that spreads to nearby enemies. It's kind of addicting to see their limbs fly everywhere from such a massive blow. 

When it comes to the demons, that's when this game gets a little wonky. You recognize some of them, and it's really nice to see big commander imps, but there are some that kind of just... are there. The most awesome thing about Doom 4 and Doom Eternal is that you can immediately look at a demon and see what it is. Here, some of them kind of blend together and just sort of die when you shoot them. They have their unique characteristics, but it's not exactly a one-look scenario of "Oh wow, it's those things!" One very noticeable absence is that of the cacodemon. Instead, they're replaced with giant floating tentacle brains in the vain of Duke Nukem 3D. It's like if arachnotrons were suddenly given flight. Arachnotrons get various weapons as well, so you have one that will blast you with lasers and another that will shoot you with a chaingun. It's all a very mixed bag. 

Glory kills are now only for the second tier demons and higher, which is a massive improvement. Rather than spending ridiculous amounts of the game melee killing every demon, it's limited to a much more digestible mechanic. There's also demons in armor that needs to be broken before you can actually do your gory murder kills, so there's a nice little added difficulty along with the fodder. There are also giant spider demons and mancubi to consider. Then there are the empowered demons that not only need to be slowly chopped down, but also ones that require you kill the demons around them before you can do any damage. 

Rather than having a boss fight in each level, you need to take down a handful of empowered demons. This is nice but I was lamenting the lack of boss battles as a result. Then you get to the later levels and you get a nice smattering of boss battles to sate that hunger. In a small stroke of genius, it created a need and fulfilled it very, very well. These battles range from the top tier demons to a traitorous Makyr known as The Kreed. Killing that pompous gas bag was a wondrous breath of fresh air with multiple tiers and massive disrespectful smashing of his face. Satisfaction hardly scrapes the surface of that feeling. 

The story is also a great upgrade from Eternal. It's not nearly as much, though it is a bit more than Doom 4, which is a nice little blend of moderation. You don't need to go into flashbacks and it doesn't give you the origin stories or anything like that. Instead, it shows you how important the Doom Slayer is to the sentinels and how far they will go to get him back into the fray. You even develop feelings for your commanding officer, who turns out to be very important to the plot, as she is, in herself, a plot device. You want to go after them and you want to see him succeed so that he can help the king and those who protect the realms from Hell's evil. 

One element that could have easily broken the game to pieces was both the giant mech suit and the dragon riding. Much like Batman Arkham Knight's Batmobile mechanics, these could have taken up 60% of the game and thrown the ripping and tearing out the window. This would have been a massive blow, but instead it's only for a few small sections of the game. That being said, the dragon was a bit of a lowpoint. The dodging and empowering features it possessed were not among the most stellar and it got to be a small annoyance when the dragon appeared for you to get on its back. Thankfully, it is a far cry from being outright cringeworthy. 

The titan battles in the mech suit are fun, and you get plenty of it while, once again, not being overbearing. The dodge mechanics are still weird, but it's still a lot of fun bashing the gargantuan titans in the face. You also get to step on normal demons, as well as mow down a ton of structures, especially in Hell. Given what happens to Earth in Eternal, it's a great feeling to pay them back in kind and bash their realm into oblivian with a swoop of your giant mechanical arm. 

Now for the big question: Where does this fall in the Doom Top 10's list? People are going to call me names and tell me I'm wrong, but I'd put this at #5, shoving Doom Eternal down a peg. By all means, the comments button is at the bottom of this article, but I will stand by that comment. In terms of Doom 4, it is a contender for the mantle, but it lacks a very important point: Being a Doom game. When you see the demons in Doom 2016, you know that this it is a Doom game and you recognize almost all of the demons. Doom The Dark Ages does feel like a Doom game, but it is so unsaturated and blandly colored that it can be mistaken for a mix of Doom with the color pallet of Quake. Is this a bad thing? Not especially. It does, however, make it a bit overly dreary. 

Another MASSIVE loss is that of the soundtrack. It's not a bad soundtrack, but it lacks the gravitas of Mick Gordan's spark of genius. It's kind of hard to notice the music in this one. The only real time I ever even paid any attention to it was when the Doomguy sails a demon barge through Hell's gates in order to get back to the mortal plane, and yes I know how that sounds. It sounds awesome, but then the knockoff BFG Division plays and that's when Mick Gordan is so sorely missed. 

Doom The Dark Ages lacks the identity that Doom 4 had in spades, but that does not, in any way, hinder the game itself. It simply hinders it as a title in the Doom roster. Beyond that, this game is absolutely solid. The graphics are awesome, the glitches do nothing to break the game (in the PS5 version, I've heard different stories from the PC version) and you get the ripping and tearing in full force. It's more of the game that we love and if you're a Doom fan, it's definitely worth giving it a fair chance. It adds to the lore without shoving it all in your face while being a prequel that is its own story and with its own look. The replay value isn't quite as strong as Doom Eternal, for a few reasons that include the lack of cheat codes, but it's still there and you can hop to any level in the new game + to try your full arsenal on any level. I know where I'm going to go back to and Kreed had better be ready for a sadistic amount of deaths in his near future. I will load my super shotgun with malicious intent! Virtua Super Buckshot!