The Konami Triforce - Don't Punch the Machine

 

The arcades were once a treasure trove of gaming greatness. Everyone loved eating a pizza, throwing some quarters into the machines and going to town on some pixelated baddies. There were three of all of these arcade games that stood out among the rest with beat'em up greatness in their veins. These three games are none other than the Simpsons, X-men and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. These three are remembered for their game mechanics and graphics, along with how many quarters they drained from our pockets.

TMNT stands among the greats for its enormous graphical superiority that does not stray from the original 1987 cartoon's greatness. This doesn't just pertain to the four turtles, this also goes for Shredder, Bebop, Rocksteady and all of the foot ninja. Taking down Killer Pizzas, Leatherhead and Krang never felt so good until the Konami came along and did great things for the Turtles themselves. 

While it may be considered inferior to its successor, TMNT IV: Turtles in Time, this game does not slouch in the slightest. Levels like the Technodrome and the sewers have been seen as some of the more iconic in the series. There are some annoyances here and there, especially when it comes to the flying villains that you can only jump kick. This is most prominent with Baxter Stockman, but thankfully, it is seldom seen throughout the game.

The Simpsons was in its hayday when they decided to put them into an arcade machine. The fighting mechanics and the imagery just scream fandom for the old TV show. The plot is very simple, Maggie got a diamon in her mouth, Smithers kidnapped her and you need to go save her. Apparently, Mr. Burns has a lot of influence because you suddenly find yourself fighting through droves of people and animals and whatever else decides to take a swing at you. 

There are a lot of familiar faces throughout the whole game. Milhouse, Nelson, Principal Skinner to name just a few. It's really cool that they gave them all their own styles of fighting. While Homer can punch with his fists, Marge carries her vaccuum to swing at the ne'er-do-wells. There are a lot of different levels through the game, namely Mr. Burns' powerplant and the cemetary. It's all a fantastic spectacle for any who know the deep, long, maybe overly long lore of the Simpsons. This was a simpler time, though. This was when they were good. 

X-men once had a different TV series in mind before they went with the 1992 Fox Kids Cartoon for Saturday mornings. If you would like a glimpse of this former series, you need only watch the original pilot that was turned into an X-men TV special called "Pryde of the X-men" because it was going to star Kitty Pryde, or Shadow Cat for those in the know. 

They took this concept and brought it into a game before the series was ultimately cancelled, but with the existance of the special and the 92 series, made it to where this never lost relevance. Fighting sentinels, robots and strange other mutations is amazing when it comes to using your mutant powers. There are some amazing powers on view here. The favorites here have to be either Wolverine's laser claw slashes or Colossus with his power up that everyone knows "OOOOOOAAAAAHHH!!!!!"

It takes a lot to make a truly great beat'em up. Where some have failed, these three have succeeded with every category. Their graphics, hit mechanics, power ups, powers and enemies have to be among the greatest in gaming. They are very reflective of the TV series they all represent (or were going to represent) and remain gems that need more ports. More people need to play them! More punches and kicks need to be done against foot ninjas and punk yellow kids who think they can pop an attitude! Virtua Pop'em in the Face!!!  

Duke Nukem Forever - Late to his Own Funeral

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