Happy Halloween again, dear spooksters! This ends the Virtua Ghost of Virtua SPOOOOOOOOOOKIES!!! and we're taking a look at a very scary movie. You know what I mean if you've seen it. Nothing can prepare you for Annihilation!!!
If there was ever an argument that proves the Video Game Curse existed, you could just say the phrase "sequel to the Mortal Kombat movie" and there will be some uncomfortable silences. This movie hurt in every single way. You cringe so hard, it hurts. The movie bombed so bad, it hurt MK as a franchise. It hurt. The more you watch every single scene and how much time they waste, the more you start to realize, there really was no plot to begin with. The movie could have ended at the very start and the world could have been better off. They introduce every single mythical object and badly costumed fighter in their arsenal and there is no room for any of them.
To warn SPOILERS ahead, but it's no real spoiler to say that Scorpion is in the movie for, maybe, two minutes. Sub-Zero appears as Kuai Liang and he has one scene with one fight, says some lines and he's gone. Mileena, Ermac, Rain, Shiva, all of them are wasted with either three to no lines at all in the movie. I almost feel bad for saying that Street Fighter the Movie packed too many characters into its lineup, I completely forgot how many characters were in this film!
Seriously, Raiden could have killed Shao Kahn's Generals with the swoop of his arm and he gives it up, causing the death of Johnny Cage. They couldn't get his original actor back for this movie, so off he goes. They couldn't get Sonya Blade either, but she actually sticks around and gets the new actor for Jax. Are you recognizing the pattern here? They got rid of one character, bump off around five or six characters through out its runtime, but they still leave an entire army of people. For obvious reasons, Christopher Lambert also did not return for the sequel. He was horribly recast and this new guy has no presence what so ever.
It's so convoluted, that the worst part of the movie is brought on by Nightwolf, who is another one-scene wonder in the film. He is just there to tell Liu Kang that he, too, can become a terribly animated CGI effect if he really wants to! The Animality was just so painfully brought into the story, because as soon as he turns into the barf looking dragon, Shao Kahn turns into the most laughably random hydra! Seriously! He has multiple heads as a monster because... he's... Shao.... no... uhhhh... Oh who cares! They did not care! You don't even know his father's name but he's apparently the... baddest bad guy.
Yes, Shao Kahn is a daddy's boy, even when he's supposed to be the most imposing figure in Mortal Kombat at the moment. In this film, he answers to his father, Shinnok. Oh, yes, dear readers, the random older guy in the hood, that's Shinnok. We never learn his name in the movie and he just sits there berating Shao Kahn and driving his character into a weakling to the audience. This is not even bringing up Kitana and Sindel!
That's right, it only gets worse. Sindel and Kitana are a subplot that this movie never should have had. Not only are they two of the worst actors in the film, the whole thing goes nowhere! It brings about one of the most memed lines, goes into pointless fights that stack upon each other already, and then they attempt to release her from Shao Kahn's control. No, that only happens after Shao Kahn is defeated, so, she accomplished nothing other than making Jade another pointless character. Oh, you heard me right, Jade is randomly in the film and she goes the exact same way, for nothing!
It's all just a big huge mish mash of fighting. There's useless Elder Gods that make matters worse by taking away Raiden's immortality for LITERALLY no reason. Through out the whole movie, Raiden just keeps saying the Elder Gods will help them, but they don't so there's more fighting. Shao Kahn brings an army of soldiers that disappear by the end of the film, but still has random fighters like Cyrax to come out of nowhere and have yet another fight! Nothing in this movie works story-wise, it's just a vehicle for fight scenes that get tiresome and is occasionally good for a laugh.
This was a real let down. We get plot twists that have no point and are left with an ending that is entirely too happy, bringing dead characters back to life with happy music. The fight between Liu Kang and Shao Kahn was obviously anti-clamactic with a weak premise. The Elder Gods just jump in after 40 or 50 rules have already been broken but at least it was better late than never, right? No, this movie threw away a brilliant premise and destroyed everything that the first movie built up with a decent quality film. The writer obviously had no idea how to use Mortal Kombat characters and only saw the dollar signs that he wanted to make by using the IP. We can only hope that the new Mortal Kombat II is as cool as it looks from the trailer. Virtua Nut Shot!
